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Talk:Miss Mosaic/@comment-26054278-20150316014719
One second into this story, and there are already 2 grammar errors ("Have you ever heard of show, Miss Mosaic from Nickelodeon in 2002?", in which the second error is the lack of italics around Miss Mosaic.) I really wasn't looking forward to this one. I really thought that this might be a new low, like Cry Baby Lane (which I will not review because there is already a perfect review on that page). Fortunately, this story was not a new low for me, but I still was not a big fan of it. The grammar of this story (as evidenced by my intro) is not good. There are tense swaps, missing words, and a couple missing periods even. The fact that the first line had errors would probably draw off any random, literate person if they stumbled across this story. Also, the author wants to make sure that the reader knows that this story is not about blood and gore and all that. No, seriously. He says it so many times that it started to really, really annoy me. Even the first time I didn't really like it, so repeating it didn't somehow make it any better. However, I will give credit where credit is due. This story has some interesting ideas. The ideas behind this show and what went on are intriguing. Not like the whole "Mowgli's Palace" beginning in "Abandoned by Disney", but still, interesting. While I was annoyed by the repetition of the author saying the pasta is not cliche, the pasta really isn't very cliche. It goes a psychological route, which is something that I think Lost Episodes should do. My problem is that I don't really think it works. While it is a thing that happens and it is a bit odd, I didn't think it was creepy enough or reached the full potential it could have reached. However, it was still a decent effort. While there were those earlier grammar errors, I also think that the way it is written is kind of awkward in a weird way, not a creepy or uncomfortable way that it maybe could have been like. However, when the writing works, it really does work to the advantage of the advantage of the story, as some of the descriptions in this story are quite good. I don't have much else to comment on without talking about spoilers, so I'm now going to address the ending. People who are for some reason reading this without reading the actual pasta, be warned. The ending is confusing in a negative way. I don't understand what the bottle of pills is supposed to signify. Is the child now going to take them? Why would the child take them? I really don't know, and it left me with an overall dislike of this story. Since this story has those interesting ideas and various positive sections, that certainly makes it different, but I don't really see it as anything very good at all. It is above average for a Lost Episode, but it is still a below average pasta. 4/10. Check out more of my critiques on the following page: My Critiques Miss Mosaic Riff : Check out this riff by Dorkpool. The jokes he makes are all fantastic and he offers some very good points in his final opinion at the end of the riff.